Hi all, this is Sherry Rich. It is my great pleasure to document Susie’s story as she has shared with me. Susie is a special friend to many of us and I am humbly honored to share this time and her thoughts with you. I hope as you read you will read it hearing Susie’s happy voice and dry sense of humor. I cried and I laughed with her. This is so you can have the details and spare Susie from telling the story repeatedly. As a cancer survivor I know that every time you tell your story you relive it. Susie has very limited WiFi in the hospital and can do little more than text or receive email but cannot send email. I am happy to be her historian. She deserves much more than a secretary!
If you want to send Susie a card her address is:
1724 Duncan Woods Ln
Knoxville, TN 37919
Thank you for your patience as Susie and I worked to compile her life over the past week. The comments you see in blue are Susie’s actual words. I chose blue because that is her favorite color.
I will enter a daily post to keep you updated.
Susie’s camper is for sale so please share the info with anyone who needs a great little Tab. Please have them contact Donna Whaley or Penny Manning who are the Vanna Whites offering this.
To me, Susie has been a great friend, my behind the scenes I’m gonna do something special, fun cocktail, entertainment planning, many times to my surprise event helper. She never wanted any recognition, reimbursement or credit for anything she has done. As many of you know At our SOTF (Sister’s on The Fly) events I always called her Our Unofficial, Unofficial Tennessee Bartender. I love you Sus and thank you for allowing me to serve you now.
Your love and care for Susie is greatly appreciated especially during this unexpected and shocking time.
LUCID LOCKDOWN
SUSIE'S STORY
I am a warrior! I have moments of sadness but am really in a good place. Yes, I am mad and angry but so far this has been the worst and strangely best week of my life. I am given a new gift every day. God didn’t give me the staircase to climb but instead one step each day.
My husband John and I have been married 39 years. We have two great sons, Frank and Jack who are both full time single dads. I could not be prouder of the path they have chosen to walk. Being a single parent is a tough road and women do it all the time. I have noticed that men do not have the village or sisterhood we have. One of my prayers is they find the love and support we take for granted as women.
I’m driving my bus today so come on aboard, sit down in the back and buckle up.
Jesus will be taking the wheel but not today. I’ll let you know when I slide over and give it to him.
The last week of February in this year, I started PT for neck, shoulder and pain.
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
This morning I got out of bed and right there beside the bed lost all bladder control with no warning. Needless to say there, I left what seemed like a gallon of pee right on the carpet! I stumbled into the bathroom noticing balance issues.
My dear son Frank drove me to my 9am hair appointment and I walked in and back out when finished. Frank told me he would feel much better if he took me to the ER just to check things out. I walked into the observation room. Based on symptoms, the doctor ordered an MRI. The doctor came back in and was visibly shaken. He tells me he has bad news to which I reply, “I know I need a new vertebra.” The doctor then says no Susie, I have really bad news. I quickly reply, “OK, I need 2 vertebrae?” This sweet doctor then says Susie, do you want to read this? He was referring to the MRI report in his hand. Then he said Susie, you have METASTATIC CANCER! My response to him was “ this must be terribly hard on you having to tell me this.” He then asked, why are you talking about me? This is about you!
Later that night, I finally got placed in a room.
Thursday, March 19, 2020
This morning, Frank came in bringing a cooler with Old Charter, Waterford crystal glasses, ice and snacks. He said don’t worry mom, I’ll keep you stocked. For the next hour, we had the most wonderful time between the two of us. John and Jack were able to be here today too.
Later in the morning, Frank asked who my doctor was. I told him I had not been assigned one yet. He stepped out of the room and said he would be right back. About 10 minutes after his return, a doctor walked in who is married to a gal that my other son Jack took to the senior prom. He told me, with your permission Mrs. Sullivan I am going to be your doctor while you’re here and I have advised all of the staff that I will be taking care of you. (God thing). His lovely wife is an Oncologist who could be a resource if needed.
Today I thought I was going to have a needle lung biopsy where they stick a needle through your back into the lung. This was to help determine the originating site of this aggressive cancer. When they got me in the room, I was very nervous. I told the nurse, “ Look, I have held everyone up for the last two days so I need someone to hold me up today. The nurse said Mrs. Sullivan, you are in a surgery room. We have drugs to give you so it will be OK. When I woke up I was in my regular room.
Friday, March 20, 2020 - Lucid Lockdown begins!
Frank came in to see me this morning and brought some supplies. After all, I only came with my purse. This gal does not wear hospital gowns or use hospital blankets and I need some product.
After a couple of hours, Frank got run out and hospital lockdown for COVID-19 began.
Today I was transported down the street by ambulance to the cancer center for mask molding and my first date with Ray. This was a 4 hour trip. The ambulance drivers and I sat in the waiting area together for 2 hours between masking and treatment. I taught them how to play Heads Up with the App on my phone and we had a really fun time. I am to have 10 days of daily radiation treatments. This will hopefully slow the cancer that is growing like kudzu.
When treatment time came, I was not at all prepared for what came next. They took me to the treatment room, laid me on my back then placed my mask over my face. Then they proceeded to screw me to the table very tightly with the mask. They radiate my head for about 12 minutes then loosen the mask a small amount and radiate my chest.
Back in my room now I couldn’t have visitors so I had to get a network quickly. I need things!
Saturday, March 21, 2020
No radiation on weekends. Today I am reminded of my dad and one of my brothers. They both died of lung cancer (non small cell, stage 4) about 10 years ago. The week my brother died my dad fell on the golf course. His friends took him to the ER where he learned that he too had the same cancer as my brother. Neither ever smoked.
After their death, I have had the pleasure of caring for and being the Healthcare POA for my sweet mother who lives in assisted living in Knoxville. She did not know of my diagnosis yet which is why I kept things quiet. There were several others I wanted to personally share with myself but could only handle speaking with one or two each day.
Sunday, March 22, 2020
Today I learned how to make a playlist of music! I also have been processing what has been dealt to me and absorbing all that has happened since Wednesday.
Every year that I worked and now continuing into my retirement, I would buy myself a pair of nice earrings. I would put them in layaway and pay on them then get them out for Christmas.
I am reminded of the 3.5 years that Frank and Weston lived with us. During this time, Frank obtained his Undergraduate and Masters Degrees from the Citadel. He has recently entered into real estate. I am so proud of Frank and Jack both.
With all of the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown I can have no visitors and my family cannot bring me anything. No volunteers to bring mail to rooms. I have established an inside supply chain. 3rd world living. My radiation face mask did not take my wrinkles out!
Monday, March 23, 2020
Today I interviewed the Hospice coordinator and made my care plan for after radiation. A former neighbor started the Caris Hospice company . (God thing) I always told them if I ever needed Hospice I would use them thinking it might be for my parents.
At date #2 with Ray, I learned that I can listen to music while he is doing his job. I know how many songs should play from start to finish.
Tuesday, March 24, 2020
I have a secret “Underground Railroad” who sneaks things in here to me. Cards to my house are the best gift. My hospital window is filling up. One of my runners is my neighbor (ER doc), he delivers before his shift. (God thing)
Tonight is the last happy hour. Bummer. Esophagus will be toast in the next 48 hours but right now I'm finishing up my happy hour. Team Susie takes good care of me here. My floor staff has delivered ice every day at 5 and they’re actually surprised to have a strong sister with Waterford crystal glasses and bourbon. I am a warrior but, come on.
No one keeps a sister down. Tomorrow is date #4 with Ray. My throat is now not happy but I had a good cocktail hour. Tomorrow I'm switching to shots of Aloe Vera but hope I can have a drink in a few weeks. From last Wednesday until now, my life did a 180.
Wednesday, March 25, 2020
Steroids sure are a rush. My mouth and mind go 10000 miles a minute. Date #3 with Ray today.
Lockdown has given me freedom to do so many things. These times have actually been some of my most precious moments. Pretty amazing considering I now have a glow in the dark DNR bracelet. My son is bringing me my pearl/diamond earrings that were in layaway. I will be sporting those babies today. I am in a bubble. Cannot get or buy anything except through my underground. Seriously, a girl needs product. So mail to my house and that being delivered is Christmas! My runners are employees but their bags have to be small. The barricade police are going to ban stuff soon. My chemo caps I think are on the Friday run. Flowers are banned but last night some were smuggled in a medical supply box.
Honestly I have the gift of uninterrupted time. No crying family/friends.
In the mornings, my coffee usually comes lukewarm to cold. Today, I told the nurse “This dying lady needs hot coffee”. 3 minutes later she hooked me up and it’s a great day!
My cute radiologist is making me trade my Charter for Aloe Vera shots today. CRAP!
(Charter/aloe picture here)
My doctor came in a day or so ago to introduce me to the doctor taking over my care for a few days. Very nice doctor. Today when he came in he said “Mrs. Sullivan you don’t recognize me do you”. To which I replied no. He proceeded to tell me that he had bought my house 14 years ago. He sat down and told me everything they had done to the house. This brought me great joy. (God thing)
When it was time for him to leave, I told him I had some homework for him. He asked what it was. I asked him to draw a picture of a stick girl. Then to mark the spots where my cancer is.
Thursday, March 26, 2020
Sure enough when the sweet doctor came in he had done his homework. I cherish this picture and keep it by my bed. I look at it every night. The x are the places where the cancer it and the marks on my forehead are the stars in my head right now 🙃. Notice the earrings!
My underground railway runners. My flowers now have been banned but cards to my house now make their way to me. I love my network.
Look what my runner brought me today! A sister quilt. It is gorgeous. I am going to shed a tear darn it but some things really really touch me and this gift is precious.
Angels - thank you!
It was hard to take a selfie but I managed.
Friday, March 27, 2020
Today, I am finishing up paperwork and almost have the bow tied on my “details” package. Gotta love lockdown. I have always loved a challenge. I guess God knew to hand it to me.
Look who snuck into the ambulance with paperwork for me to sign! That’s Frank. My drivers are so kind. They know what I face and are so helpful to assist my network to help me get things done that I want to. Have I told you how proud I am of my boys? My runner offered to sneak my puppy in with a supply box but I had to put my foot down and say no.
I am pissed the dealer will not let me turn in any cards. I never was good at poker. Guess that is pretty evident now! But, I am still at the table with cute earrings and a new nightshirt delivered by my runners and actually had a cocktail last night. My radiologist lies to me. I was able to sip last night. Screw aloe vera shots!
I am putting my playlist together for Ray - date 6. The techs dance around while they screw me to the table. We actually have a ball. Elvis got me through yesterday. Date #6 with Ray. Ray is getting very personal with me. It is difficult to drink or eat.
Don’t you love my stylish Foley Catheter bag. One of you should patent this!
It is now difficult to eat or drink. Last night I was hungry so they brought me peanut butter and crackers. I did my best to scrape the peanut butter out of the tub with my finger. That became tiring so I rang the call button to ask for a Xanax and a knife. When I realized what I was about to say I asked for the Xanax only as I thought they all may come running if I asked for both over the speaker. Then when the nurse came in I asked for a knife too.
Saturday, March 28, 2020
Frank has been involved so much because he lives locally.
Today, I want to share about my dear son Jack. Jack lives in Kingsport, TN where he has been working within the Faris McDonald’s umbrella since high school. A shy 15 year old has grown up to manage over 16 stores. During college at Xavier in Cincy he worked for McDonald’s and returned to Knoxville completing his MBA. Jack is the father to his precious Harper and also to Gaddon who is Harper’s brother.
I love going th Kingsport once a month to cook, drive a carpool and provide respite for 2-3 days. I know those days are over which saddens me.
